what we know...

it is 1am and i just got home from a magnificent concert...the piano man. i drug a 15 year old with me and i think there were times she actually enjoyed it. i saw her singing and dancing and laughing in the aisles...it was great. i am still trying to figure out why someone would take the time to memorize the words to "we didn't start the fire"...let alone many thousands of people...but it was awesome hearing everyone (except me) sing along. i did know the words to the piano man and that was amazing.

well...today was the day that we heard back from the PET scan. we were totally prepared for the scan coming back with bad news and we were totally prepared for the scan coming back with good news. but somehow we were not quite ready for it coming back with mediocre news. i cannot give you all the details tonight but the short of it is that some of the tumors are still present and showing "hot spots". this means that the cancer is still there...but it also shows that many of those tumors have shrunk in size since january so they concluded that the chemo is working (a bit).

i was alone when i heard the news and the nurse told me that the scan was really not that bad and that it could have been a lot worse (infact she admitted that she expected it to be a lot worse) but for some reason when i got off the phone and thought of having to tell tim that they want to start him on more of the same chemo i just cryed. i can't even begin to tell you how sorry i feel for that man. we still haven't made our final decision yet...we really haven't been together alone to discuss it much yet. there are many other factors that are coming into play also...

tonight he called me just before the concert and told me that he forgot to tell me that he has a blood clot forming around his port (which is located right next to his heart)...we have to go back on the lovenox injections to try to dissolve it and they are going to do a CT scan next week and see if they need to pull his central line.

we are 6 weeks post-chemo and his counts have started to drop again...kinda wierd i thought.

there is some "activity" with the vocal cords that we are unclear as to what that means.

we still have to meet with the doctors next week and have a heart to heart again. as of right now he is looking at more chemo next thursday if we choose to continue. i am not sure of all the details and all the reasons why they want him back on the same chemo next week but we will start asking questions next week and find out what they are thinking. then we will decide which direction we are going to go...keep praying.

so...the scan was sorta good i guess. i was unclear as to the number of tumors and if any of the "hot spots" were new since january. more questions to ask. a weekend to ponder and make up our questions list.

hope that all made sense...i haven't been getting a lot of sleep and right now i am going on fumes.

thanks for checking in

tim and tammy