appt went well...

tims first post-chemo appointment went very well. he got his neulasta shot...he got a bag of fluids to help him stay hydrated and help the kidneys (he never seems to drink enough post-chemo). his bloodwork is really good so far. liver enzymes are holding steady, electrolytes are decent, blood counts are not dropping too bad yet, although his platelets are heading south. they dropped from about a 140,000 to a 75,000. when they hit 10,000 he will need to start getting transfusions. (platelets are those little clotting guys that help you not to bleed)

it is kinda weird going into that setting again...it is a big room divided into two parts. each part has room for about 4 patients...some post-transplant patients, some chemo patients, some there to get transfusions, some there to get bone marrow biopsies. there are now two nurse practicioners, and two RN's and a secretary. the doctors are in and out but the NP's run the show. it was kinda like a class reunion when we got there...tim is a real celebrity or just one heck of a nice guy.

most of the patients look cold and exhausted. most of the caregivers just look exhausted.

it gets harder and harder for me to strike up a conversation with these people because many many of them are just attempting to get into remission so that they can hopefully be a transplant candidate. tim looks so good that they want to know all about him...scary huh. i want to get a shirt that says "please don't ask".

you can almost see the life drain out of them as we answer all the questions they have for us...as they learn of the two relapses and the staph infections and the esophagus problems and the bells palsy and the hundred other things he has been through, and soon they go back to reading their newspaper. he attempts to tell them that it was absolutely worth getting the transplant but everyone is tired...everyone is hoping for a quick guaranteed fix. tim looks at things like we got over another hurdle and they look at it as i am not sure i can do all that. we go back to reading our newspapers too and say a prayer for the guy in the next bed.

it is a strange world in which we have moved into...mostly a sad world. pray that tim can stay upbeat amidst all the sadness. it seems as though the patients get younger and younger all the time. we ask how so and so are doing and some are still in remission and some have passed on to a better place. but...like tims boss says: you gotta keep the faith. we have learned to take one day at a time and don't sweat the small stuff.

well, enough rambling for one early morning.

thanks for checking in. say a prayer for a cancer patient today.

tim and tammy