sometimes...

...i feel like we are on an amusement park ride. a ride that keeps repeating itself over and over and over. a ride that you just can't get off. you have the flat parts and the climbs and the falls and the twists and the turns and then it starts all over again.

tim is getting ready to soon start his 5th round of chemotherapy. he had one in january and one in february and one in march and one in april and now in may...he has his routine pretty much down and knows when to expect his best times and when to expect his worst times...i think by now the whole family has the routine pretty much down and because of that things can kinda get a little tense at times. we try to get this in and that in. we try to schedule our lives around tims chemo... and although in my opinion we have done an amazing job...it can still get a bit tense.

most families have to look at a schedule and plan day trips or a vacation around a job or a sports camp or a church camp or a family reunion or wedding...take all of that and add in a week or two of dad being in the hospital and a week or two of dad being neutropenic and a week or two of dad being run down and weak and getting blood transfusions every couple of days and a couple of weeks of dad not being able to drive...and this senerio keeps repeating itself over and over and over again.

i think that this eventually wears a family down...i feel tired all the time trying to maintain some sort of a normal household. tim feels totally frustrated with the whole mess. i can't even imagine the thoughts going through our three teenagers minds at times...

i am not sure why i am saying all this other than the fact that sometimes life at the dewalt house is not as peachy as one may think...we had a decent weekend and tim is feeling pretty good (which is normal just before he goes back in for another round). but...so much more goes in to keeping this ship at sail than we can describe. maybe i am saying all this because i haven't had the best week emotionally. maybe i am saying all this so that you all can pray that things change...we need a miracle here. and now would be much better than later.

each round of chemo has hit tim harder than the last one and i know that he is dreading going back in on thursday. pray for us this week...the closer we get the harder it gets.

a side note: big day for megan. girls day out. (sorry tim). her first college tour is tuesday. we are heading out to penn state in the morning. very exciting. throughout this summer in between all the other excitement we will be taking her to tour about 4-5 colleges. (tim will try to get in on as many as he can).

well...sorry for the somewhat of a downer blog. things are really OK over here...but i am feeling a bit ICK...a bit ICK and a bit TIRED.

thanks for checking in.

have a great week...

tim and tammy