maybe thursday...

with any luck tim will be able to come home on thursday...we were all packed up to come home on wednesday afternoon but that fell through.

i am a little reluctant to try to explain all of what is going on right now...only because there are still some tests out there that have not come back yet, therefore we are not 100% sure of anything.

i can tell you that we went in thinking one thing and are coming out thinking something else...and we are not real thrilled with the thoughts. as you all know tim has had crappy history over the last few years and each year around christmas time he seems to have major issues. so why should this year be any different?

i just had to tell the kids AGAIN that one week before christmas we "think" dad's cancer is back...i can't begin to explain how sick of a feeling i get when i have to have these conversations with our girls.

instead of spending our days out looking for that perfect gift or decorating our house or putting up a tree or sending out christmas cards...we are spending the last 6 days in the hospital having more biopsies and wondering if we should do chemotherapy or radiation therapy or both or neither and wondering why his platelets are still dropping and wondering why now...

i guess we will not OFFICIALLY know if the lymphoma is back until we get the results of the biopsy but it appears that all the other "non-cancer" options have been crossed off. we are consulting a radiation therapy guy thursday to see if he thinks radiation could help shrink the tumor and reduce the pain.

his pain is a bit more controlled and he is back on oral drugs (they took him off his pain pump today-keep your fingers crossed). if the pain is controlled we think he will come home thurday afternoon.

i guess when you have been down this road as much as we have nothing really surprises you anymore...but i have to admit we are a bit discouraged. there is still a slim chance that we are dealing with some weird post-transplant pseudo-lymphoma but they are doubtful. we keep praying...you keep praying.

thanks for checking in

(tim and) tammy