hospice...
we finally broke down...
we signed all the forms
we got a PICC line
we got a pain pump
we got a hospital bed
we have an RN
we have an LPN
we have an aide
we have a social worker
we have a chaplain
we have drugs
right now we only will see the nurse a few times a week and the aide will be in to meet us this week and set up a schedule if we want.
it is kinda like having an out of body experience...signing the DNR (do not resuscitate) form was freaky. even though i am totally aware of exactly what is going on here there are some things that make me stop in my tracks and say "is this really happening or is it all a bad dream".
at one point i just looked over at him while he was dosing and i started to cry...i am starting to realize just how much i love that man and how much i am going to miss him when he is gone. i am so proud of him and the way he is handling this mess. he has been such a trooper. i know how much pain he is in and i see how he interacts with visitors and i am amazed. (he is always telling me that he doesn't want anyone to worry about him).
i have laundry to do and then i have to go check on him...the kids are dad-sitting while i am getting some stuff around the house done. (they have been great though this whole mess...really great) he was afraid that after the kids found out they would avoid him but they have actually stepped up and made us so proud. we know that it is hard for them but they are helping wherever they can and most of the time that is by sitting with him so i can roam.
i will shoot out an update when i can
thanks for checking in
tim and tammy
posted by tdewalt @ 10:39 PM
12 Comments:
Hard to wrap my brain around, although the crying part I seem to fully understand. Hits me just about anywhere. We'll be there to sit with him today and love on him a while. Thank God that right to the end, here's a life that brings God glory... No matter what it's felt like, we really do win and win big time.
love ya,
Deb
it does all seem like a dream-a very bad one- we would love to come by & see you guys- i'll call ash later-we love you
love
the hayes family
Glad to hear Hospice is in Tammy. They will provide additional support and guidance. We will be down soon. You are in our thoughts and prayers always. Your girls and you have been terrific through this. Tim has been unvelievable. It is so hard as family. We feel so helpless. What an example you all have been and still are. We love you guys!!
Love and prayers,
Jim and Judy
Dear Tim, Tammy, girls, Mr. DeWalt and all family members;
Dan and I both are fighting the sniffles but if we could, we would stop by;
We are so sorry to hear the "bad" news and only wish there was more to do than just pray; Please do not hesitate to call on us; These sniffles will be gone by Sunday; we can come over then, after church if you want and are up to it; let us know, OK?
DO you need anything; meals, a break, a ride here and there;
We love you!
Diane and Dan McCormick
We love you all so very much. The example your whole family sets regarding your walk with the Lord is amazing! God didn't promise us an easy walk in this world, but no one ever dreams their walk will be as difficult as yours has been. The void that will be left when the Lord finally calls Tim home will be immense, but for those of us who live for the Lord know that there will be a day when we are all home together again with the Lord.
My heart still breaks for you all at your impending loss and I can't stop crying...but my hope is in the Lord and He knows best.
It goes without saying that we are here for you and we will not stop praying for a miracle! And even though we don't understand why God is allowing this to happen to Tim we also know that Gods ways are not our ways...and that's not easy to take sometimes.
John and I love you all more than we could ever tell you!
Tim and Tammy and family,
we cannot imagine what you are goign thru.. let the grace of God be with you and with Tim.. your strengh is in the Lord, and he is always near..
our prayers are with you..
Jim and Barbara
I really wish none of this was real for you guys. I am glad that Tim will be able to manage his pain better. I used to work for Hospice, and they are wonderful people! It really helps to know you can call them whenever, even if it is just for moral support. I hope you know that you can lean on us for support also. Take care of yourself Tammy, let others help you so you can be your best for Tim. Once the kids go back to school and you need some extra help, we will be here. Please let Tim know how much we admire his courage and his compassion for others, it takes a special man to care so much about others when he himself is faced with such adversity.
Thinking of you always and praying for continued strength for your family. I will be in touch. Brenda
Dear Tim, Tammy and Girls!
Bill, Ang and I were so blessed to visit Tim today! No matter what, God receives the "Glory!" He has a purpose for us on this Earth...To love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul and mind and To Glorify Him!
Bill told Tim that God showed him a few years ago that....we are to be like a flower with a sweet fragrance to those around us!
When it is our time to go be with the Lord, our pedals will fall and the seeds will drop, but our sweet fragrance will always remain to those who we touched!
We love you all very much!
Love in Jesus,
The Nearhoof's
Tim, Tammy, and Girls,
Nancy and I are praying for you guys. You all have handled this all very well. You all are real troopers.
Praying with you,
Pastor and Nancy
Tim and Tammy,
Nothing can express in words how our hearts feel for you both. We are so glad that at this time Tim you are surrounded by so much love. We know that when one is sick , it is often a lonely experience. We thank God that you are aware of all the love around you, and through that you Tim can see what an impact you have had on others. As partners your love is never ending, and so powerful......you give others strength in your struggles, and we feel blessed to know you. God bless you and your family. With love, Vaughn and Lisa Dickinson
These steps seem so methodical...as if it is some kind of "drill."
You've touched my heart again!
I have always loved Tim...right from the first time Ronnie took me home to PA to meet his family.
I remember back to when you and Donna taught my kids "Father Abraham." I got to know you, Tammy, and loved you, too. You and Tim together...a match made in Heaven.
I am praying for the five of you, as you go through this trial.
I send my love... Aunt Katie
Dear Tim, Tammy, Girls and family,
What can we say......we pray that
our God gives you all the strength
for this trying time. You both
have always been an inspiration to
us and of course Joey and Austin.
The boys always pray for Mr. Tim
when saying their prayers.......
We cry with you, but we know God
doeth all things well. We love
you guys and will continue to pray
for added strength. Love and prayers. Bill, JoAnn, Joey, Austin
and Jennifer
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