webster says
sad: affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness
to me that definition is very vague...let me add some more meaning to this word sad:
feeling sick to your stomach to the point you think you may be getting the flu
not wanting to eat anything one day
wanting to eat the entire box of ring dings the next
not wanting to get out of bed in the morning one day
not being able to sleep and can't wait until morning comes the next
feeling achy and sluggish one day
not really feeling anything the next
wanting to cry when you see a PEPSI commercial
wanting to cry when you look at the girls
feeling like a huge piece of you is just missing
i guess i fit more into the grief category than the unhappiness category...i actually feel that i am at that sorta "feeling sorry for myself" stage that i absolutely HATE. i know that this is part of the natural process but i can still hate it-right?? i am one of those self-psyco-analyzers...very scary.
i know that this grief thing takes many turns and it is doubtful that i will find any of them to be fun...this just really isn't my thing...but i am trying.
I AM FINE...but i am sad.
i still get out and about
i still hang with the girls
i still will call a friend
i still function quite well
...but i am sad.
everyday i read this little book my mom gave me years and years ago and i go to page 74 where it says:
THE LORD'S LOVE NEVER ENDS;
HIS MERCIES NEVER STOP.
THEY ARE NEW EVERY MORNING;
LORD, YOUR LOYALTY IS GREAT.
I SAY TO MYSELF, "THE LORD IS MINE,
SO I HOPE IN HIM."
THE LORD IS GOOD TO THOSE WHO HOPE IN HIM,
TO THOSE WHO SEEK HIM.
LAMENTATIONS 3:22-25
so...every morning i get up and we start a new day. i still may be sad on this new day but i am trusting in HIM that i will get through this new day and perhaps tomorrow i will be a little less sad than i was today.
keep the prayers coming.
thanks for checking in
tammy
posted by tdewalt @ 7:36 PM
11 Comments:
WE LOVE YOU!!!! PRAYING!
YOU ROCK
PB and the Fam
Hey Tammy, Been there, felt like that and done that but not for the same reason or situation. These are real feelings; And you have a great perspective and insight-- that is very good!
What a hopeful scripture verse which is also a chorus, singing:
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning, new every morning.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Oh Lord!
Great is Thy faithfulness."
Trust in it, you'll be singing a new song soon and remember: joy comes in the morning. We are praying for you!
Louis and Martha
Tammy, what you are feeling is a natural part of the process we feel for ourselves when we are missing a loved one.
I am glad you can share with us all that you are going through and know that your family and friends are praying for you and the girls.
Your Loved One lives In Your Heart
Many tender memories soften your grief,
May fond recollection bring you relief,
And may you find comfort and peace in the thought
Of the joy that knowing your loved one brought...
For time and space can never divide
Or keep your loved one from your side
When memory paints in colors true
The happy hours that belonged to you.
~ Helen Steiner Rice
Karen (Pepsi)
Very real emotions Tammy - so tough to deal with. All I can tell you as a survivor is deal with it, the best you can. Trust in Him, rely on others when you're ready to let them in, and love those girls of yours like only you can. Functioning eventually turns back into living when you trust in Him and let His love and mercy work in you. Feel sorry for yourself (whether you like it or not) cause the reality is we all feel sorry for you too. And the girls. In a way your words validate what we're feeling. Just know that you have a "one up" on so many others who have gone through the grief process....you have Christ Jesus. I found Him again during my ordeal and have walked with Him since. What a journey! People have asked me if I would change anything about my life. No - I would not be who and where I am today had it not been for life's pains and my salvation through Him.
I thank the Lord everyday for all His blessings. You may not know what He has in store for you Tammy, but He will bless you. When that time, moment, day, year, life comes, give Him the thanks He deserves. And those times may come when you least expect them....treasure them.
We continue to pray for you and the girls. Have not seen anything new on the OSHA website so I'm assuming all went well with Meg and the power tools! Take it a day at a time - take time each day.
God's Blessings to you all,
John & Tammy
:(
love you guys...
Deb
I will just say "ditto" to what has already been written. I can remember just being so numb and reading scripture and my mind couldn't focus and 10 min. later I'd forgotten what I just read. It is a process, a journey...you have lots of love and prayers and those who are willing to listen and help along the way ---diane
Tammy,
We continue to pray for you and the girls. Nothing wrong with feeling sad. We feel sorry that you guys have to go through this time. We know you'll make it with the help of the Lord.
Pastor and Nancy
I can't even imagine going through what you are going through but you have lots of friends and your love for the Lord. Remember- I know you do-we're all here for you and the girls-also we still have a date for dinner- let me know when-
My goodness! You just took me back in time!
I remember so well what "sadness" felt like. I remember trying to explain that sometimes my skin hurt...sometimes I actually thought that the empty pillow would break my heart...
BUT - I remember one morning when I pried my eyes open expecting to feel the way I had for a very long time, but knowing I had to get up and carry on anyway. Amazingly, I found the sadness was---not gone---but definitely bearable.
That was the turning point.
You'll reach yours too.
Everyone's grieving time and pattern is different, but I'm pretty sure most believers who have gone "through the valley of the shadow of death" found that time is/was a healer.
And I will never forget the frequent "touches" from God... delivered in the form of songs, poems, radio/TV shows, news articles, phone calls, strangers, friends, pictures, nature....
And then there's His gift of laughter from jokes, our kids, other people's kids, our own actions, other people's actions, the behavior of pets or backyard critters, etc.
I send my love and prayers, because I remember!
Aunt Katie
Sad is quite normal for what you have been through. It is actually very "normal" and good to be able to express how you are feeling. God is faithful and will walk with you through every phase of this. And yes, let us know when you need one of those uncles! Even if you just need to talk.
Love you guys.
Jim and Judy
This is one of those "You Wish You Could Give Advice or Help but Can't" topics. Just know that we are with you and we love you and are grieving with you.
The Doyles
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