was it worth it?

i believe that was a question that i had in the last "confession" blog and i told you i would let you know AFTER my accountability partner found out...

it is now AFTER she found out and has DEALT with the issue...that s'more isn't looking quite as good tonight. in addition to the fact that she wants me to "talk" about my issues with carbs and is always looking for a solution to "my problems" SHE also felt that it would be a good idea to burn off the ALL the calories that i so illegally consumed. (why are you laughing...i am not laughing)

so...i get on-line and find out that 4 marshmallows, graham crackers, and an entire hershey bar comes to 420 calories...all to be erased in one session. are you sensing my REGRET yet? me...the one who just loves to exercise is now being "encouraged" to take responsibility for my actions and make it right by burning 420 calories.

so...i figure if it is going to help discourage me from feeding my carb addiction i might as well give it a try (not that i really had a choice...she is hired until the end of the year and taking her job VERY serious )

so...how does one find out how to burn that many calories...one goes on-line to the calorie burning calculator and plug in my weight and my speed and my desired calories to burn and presto...i find out that it will take me 52 minutes of non-stop walking at a pace of 3.0 mph-almost a 3-mile hike for one measly s'more.

OMG

now i am sure that many of you find going on an hour long treadmill walk to be a very non-life threatening experience but must i remind you that I have NOT been exercising AT ALL. i wish that i could express all my emotions and thoughts that were passing through my mind while walking tonight...but as you know it has been my goal to keep this blog a PG-13 rating.

i can tell you that (after kelsey helped me get up the stairs) i have decided that it was much easier putting the 420 calories in than it was burning them off. i am not in any hurry to repeat that experience. in fact i am not in any hurry to do anything...except maybe find the advil bottle.

i am getting a bit sore already...

...did i really have to do that tonight? not really, but now that i did i am actually glad for the kick in the pants. it will get me motivated to get walking again (in a day or so maybe) and didn't hurt anything that won't heal (eventually-like my pride).

will i ever be able to eat a s'more again? absolutely, but NOT while i am on this diet. it is my desire to actually KICK this habit/addiction or whatever you want to call it permanently so until i can control my actions i need to totally refrain from these spontaneous outbreaks. i am doing well and i wish to continue to do well and if that means having to suffer a bit now for a much happier and healthier me later...then so be it.

no more fires...for now.

thanks for checking in

tammy