part #2 in the kitchen

as if being in the kitchen while grieving isn't enough i also am in the kitchen while dieting...

this is where the "being institutionalized" comes into play.

i am not sure if you noticed the menu but the majority of the items prepared are NOT on my diet. peanut butter fudge, chex muddy buddies, chips and homemade chip dip, pasta to go with the homemade meatballs and sausage...

some days i think that i am being tortured from just about every angle...

the job hunt is stressful

the grieving is stressful

raising teenagers is stressful

but ultimately the thing that is ALWAYS on my mind these days is the DIET>

the diet is stressful enough when i am not in the kitchen...but deciding to spend an entire day in the kitchen with enough sweets and carbs to fuel a small town is pure torture. i am not sure how many of you out there will admit it but i am would classify myself as a "finger-licking" cook. everything that i make i have to taste...to be sure that it is ok to serve company (even if they are only teenagers).

the chip dip needs to be tasted on a chip to make sure it is just the perfect consistency

the fudge needs to be tasted to make sure it is just the right texture and firmness

the chex mix needs to be tasted to make sure i didn't put too much powdered sugar on them

the spaghetti needs to be tasted to be sure it is just a hair past al dente

then for some reason i felt the need to make sure the spaghetti tasted ok with the meatballs

if my AP finds out about this she will have me power-walking from now right into the new year (non-stop). she is in chicago on business...out of sight out of mind. my bad.

i guess i am not "cured" yet. anyone know where i could get a temporary mouth-wiring set that i could use while in the kitchen. or perhaps some duct tape. it is not that i purposely wanted to eat all these things. i believe it was more like a habit i haven't broken yet...kinda like a reflex.

make something-taste something

make something-taste something

haven't had those carbs for quite awhile and all i wanted to do all evening was SLEEP. how in the world did i function all that time eating all those carbs. must have been sleep-walking.

i am either going to have to have constant supervision while in the kitchen or else stop going into the kitchen...maybe i could install a video cam feed right to my AP's computer...nah

as you can tell i am still under pressure while dealing with my diet...i have really done well but i still have my days when i totally lose it and slip up. keep me in your prayers. boy those chips and dip were wonderful...i will probably dream about them for days. (at least until i have to walk 43 miles-probably up hill in the snow-for eating them).

meg comes home tonight...ETA about 10pm

very exciting.

thanks for checking in

tammy