thosewhowait

Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

"a moment"



This is the air I breathe

This is the air I breathe

Your holy presence
Living in me


This is my daily bread

This is my daily bread

Your very word

Spoken to me

And I ... I'm desperate for you


And I ... I'm lost without you

i don't know how many of you are familiar with this song (it has been sung by many-michael w smith and mercy me are the ones i am most familiar with) but this afternoon i was switching a CD over to another one while i was driving in the car and this song came on the radio...i actually had to pull over along the road until it was over and i dealt with the issue at hand. i had a little emotional/spiritual moment along the side of the road...

i don't usually talk too much about my faith but today i was having a horrible day (as i am sure you could tell from my last post) but when i heard this song playing it was like i had this wake-up call telling me that HUGE HOLE that i was feeling in my heart was able to be filled (at least some) if i would just seek the comfort of the holy spirit...so i did right there along the road.

i suddenly realized how desperate for him that i was...and how lost i would be without his daily presence in my life. yes, i was crying again but this time it was more of a cleansing cry than a "poor me" cry...yes i still miss tim terribly and always will but i am so thankful for the "blessed assurance" that i have in my lord and savior that helps me get through the good days and the rough days. (and there are some really rough days and i suspect there will be a few more)

do i think that it was divine intervention that that song was on at the exact moment i was switching the CD over?? absolutely!!! i think that sometimes god needs to stick stuff directly "in my face" for me to notice. and maybe i just needed to really have a crappy day in order for him to be noticed...but however it came about it certainly helped me get through the rest of the day...still sad but ok. plus, i have learned over the years that when god speaks something that direct to me i had better listen because the next time could be "painfully" obvious...i have had my share of "dense" moments and "rebellious" moments where i have blown an opportunity to listen when god speaks and that never works out for the best.

so...as bad as the day started out it became much better as the day went on which we all know is what tim would have wanted.

thanks for all the comments and the prayers...
love to all
tammy




















october 27th...


tim's birthday.


i was not expecting this day to hit me so hard...go figure


in fact, this might be one of the most emotional days i have had in months. i am not sure why-


perhaps it is the alignment of the moon and the stars

perhaps it is that i miss him SO MUCH

perhaps it is that i have been so focused on other stuff and now things have slowed down a bit


whatever the reason i do know that i am NOT LIKING it very much.


i am sitting here at the computer with tears streaming down my face thinking that if he were here we would once again be the same age (there were many many conversations that have been had over me being the "elder" in our marriage)


he would have wanted to grill tonight...even if it was raining...he always loved when everyone was home and he could grill steaks.


he would have requested homemade mac and cheese...and a homemade strawberry cake (which in the 21 years of marriage he NEVER got from me because apparently his mother took that favorite recipe of his to the grave with her many many years ago) he would have been stuck with red velvet-his second favorite.


pappy would have been down for supper tonight.


i think we will just have pizza tonight...


he would have been 47 years young...too soon to be gone


sorry for the downer blog today...


i do have a bit of good news to report. ashley has been cleared by the ortho guys. the MRI came back and still showed some deep bruising of her knee but no surgery required!!!! finally a piece of good news. (hey kp...glad you got to share in our joy yesterday)


kelsey had her first ever job interview yesterday at old navy...it was a group interview and lasted an hour. she thought it went well. she will find out today if she got the job. cross your fingers...she really could use a good discount on her (love of) clothes.


thanks for checking in


sad tammy









Wednesday, October 21, 2009

antibiotics...


the flu or not the flu...


in this house it is not the flu...


i thought this picture was so cute (thanks judy)...it seems as though we are surrounded by people who are getting the flu and yet we seemed to have picked up some sinus infection and bronchitis instead. very similar symptoms but slightly different treatment. kelsey has been hit really hard with the fever, sore throat, sinus headache, ear ache, body ache, cough, tightness in her chest...it has been a long week of antibiotics, mucinex, advil, and cough syrup...plus 4 boxes of tissues (at least). ashley has been flirting with a head cold, slight fever and sore throat...plus 4 boxes of tissues (at least).


i am doing ok so far...keep praying that we can fight this stuff off without anyone getting worse.


kelsey missed a few days of school and is back now but totally exhausted when she gets home. her field hockey team plays friday afternoon and she hopes to be able to play without collapsing on the turf...they are in the playoffs...this is big stuff!!!


ashley went in late two days but has seemed to not get hit quite as hard as kelsey...maybe that was because she was not rolling around in the snow on saturday??


last i heard meg is good. hopefully she is stock-piling some vitamin C.


well...that is all the updates for now. on monday ash gets the results of her knee MRI back and we find out if she needs PT or surgery.


thanks for checking in


stay well...


tammy





Saturday, October 17, 2009

snow in happy valley

in october


what a weird day to head out to a penn state game...





we had rain (lots of rain)





we had snow (lots of snow)





we had ice (part of the one mountain had really slick icy roads and there were lots of power outages on and off campus-meg had no power just before game time on saturday)





we were persistent...kept on driving...thinking maybe it won't be TOO BAD...and soon





we had the best parking spot that i could have ever imagined (and we were expecting to end up parking a few miles away from the stadium)





we had a wonderful tailgate party with megan and friends (and we were expecting to be told to take the tent down and instead the man was helping us pick a good spot)





we had fantastic seats that were under cover (so we didn't have to sit in the rain OR get hit with any of the couple hundred flying snow balls)





and we won the game





it was a MUCH NEEDED day away having MUCH NEEDED stress-free family time. i love going out there and seeing megan in her surroundings with her friends having such a wonderful time. she is such a true blue PSU fan.





nothing much else is going on...i am off work for a few days after a long stretch last week.








thanks for checking in and thanks to all who sent megan out a card this week...she was so thrilled





go lions!!





tammy

Monday, October 12, 2009

less than 1%

The best way for me to describe how Ashley is doing is to tell you what the doctor told us on our last visit. After evaluating her on-line neurological test it was determined that out of 10,000 individuals who were given the same test, Ashley fell into the less than 1% in her short term memory. She also still gets frequent severe headaches...especially while reading and trying to concentrate on a subject for a period of time. She is experiencing depression symptoms (which we are told is quite normal but still frustrating none the less). We have NOT been given any sort of time-line when she will improve.

We are giving her medication to treat some of the symptoms (depression, concentration, headaches) but none of these meds. can repair the damage that was done by the fall. Only patience and time will heal this sort of injury. The recommendations of the Concussion Clinic doctors are as follows:

*UNTIMED TESTS
*PRE-PRINTED CLASS NOTES
*TUTORING
*REDUCED WORKLOAD WHEN POSSIBLE
*FREQUENT BREAKS FROM CLASS WHEN EXPERIENCING SYMPTOMS
*EXTENDED TIME ON HOMEWORK AND PROJECTS
*LEAVE CLASS 5 MINS EARLY

She has been given STRICT orders by the doctor to NOT try to push herself...if she experiences pain she is to STOP what she is doing.

that is a copy of the e-mail that i just sent to her english teacher...we are attempting to get the guidance counselors and the school teachers and the school nurse and the doctors all on the same page!!! wish me luck>..

you ever try to LEARN to use a graphing calculator for algebra II with no short term memory??? you ever watch the movie 50 first dates??? that is what algebra is like this year.

i am VERY proud of how hard she is trying to keep herself from getting too far behind...but even the doctor straight out told her that there were going to be some things that she was just NOT going to be able to get...

not yet anyway...

as far as her other problem with the KNEE injury...we saw ortho today and he thinks she tore her miniscus...MRI is scheduled for friday morning (i thought it was today...my bad). we were in the office for 2 hours thinking we were going for a physical therapy evaluation and all he talked about today was surgery...oh goodie.

we won't know for sure until the 26th of this month.

sorry this update didn't get out in a timely manner...but as you can see we are dealing with STUFF here on a daily basis and i am pooped.

on a happy note...kelsey scored 4 goals tonight against CD east and we won the field hockey game. go indians.

megan is good...i am going out to PSU on thursday to wish her happy b-day in person.

thanks for checking in

go lions

tammy

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

601


interesting number...


hard to believe that this is the 601st entry onto this blog site...no wonder i can't find anything else to say!!!


thanks to all who have followed me around for the last few years...it has been quite an adventure. although it seems as though the blog has mostly been sad and somewhat bizarre i have recently come across a few people who have really encouraged me to keep it going. it seems like each time i think that i may give it up because i am finding it hard to believe there is really anyone out there in cyberspace who really cares about the stuff i write...i find a random person who "loves the blog". so...for now i guess i will try to keep it going as much as i can.


ashley and i are off to see the concussion guy in the morning (wednesday). i will shoot out a quick update on that appt later this week. she took an on-line memory test and we will get those results tomorrow. she is scheduled for an MRI and physical therapy on her knee next monday in the afternoon.


kelsey is good...right at the tail end of a great season of field hockey. she is searching for employment...in our house if one wishes to drive one of the vehicles one must pay for the insurance!!! so off to work we go...wish her luck finding a FLEXIBLE job that she can still do school and sports and work.


meg is doing well...she was psyched that she just landed a spot on the hospitality committee of THON...one of the largest college fundraising events that supports the children's miracle network. another proud mom moment!!!


just a thought...i am not sure if meg follows the blog much anymore (if so she will not be happy) but she has a birthday coming up this month...she will turn 19 on october 15th. if you would like to drop her a card or a note at anytime i thought i would post her address:


MEGAN DEWALT

815 TENER

UNIVERSITY PARK, PA 16802


thanks for checking in


go lions

go indians


tammy